From Dread to Joy: Practical Ways to Help Your Child Love School

Keywords: love school, school engagement, positive school experience, parent support, child motivation, BACT therapy.

In our previous blog, we explored the complex reasons why children might hate school. Knowing the “why” is crucial, but the real question for parents is, “What can I do about it?”

Transforming a child’s school experience from a source of dread to a place of curiosity and connection is a journey, not a quick fix. At BACT, we partner with families to build resilience and foster a positive mindset. Here are practical strategies you can start using today.

1. Foster a Partnership with the School

You, your child, and their teachers are on the same team.

• Open Communication: Schedule a meeting with your child’s teacher. Approach it collaboratively: “I’m concerned that Sarah is struggling to enjoy school. Can you share your observations, and we can work together on a plan?”

• Be a Detective, Not a Prosecutor: Work with the teacher to identify patterns. Is the struggle specific to one subject? Does it happen at a certain time of day?

• Utilize Resources: Ask about school counselors, tutoring programs, or different learning approaches they can implement.

2. Shift the Focus from Performance to Process

When children feel the pressure to get an “A,” they can become afraid to take risks or make mistakes.

• Praise Effort, Not Intelligence: Instead of “You’re so smart!” try, “I am so proud of how hard you worked on that science project!” This builds a growth mindset.

• Celebrate Curiosity: When your child asks a question, lean into it. Look up the answer together. Show them that learning is a lifelong adventure that happens everywhere, not just in a classroom.

• Normalize Struggle: Share stories of times you found something difficult. Let them know that it’s okay not to understand something immediately.

3. Create Positive Routines and Connections

Structure and positive anticipation can make school days feel safer and more predictable.

• Morning & Evening Routines: A calm, organized morning sets a positive tone. A consistent evening routine with time to connect (e.g., talking about their day, reading together) provides security.

• “Rose, Thorn, Bud”: At dinner, have each family member share a “rose” (the best part of their day), a “thorn” (the most challenging part), and a “bud” (something they’re looking forward to). This validates their feelings and ends the day on a forward-looking note.

• Connect School to Their Passions: If your child loves art, explore the art projects they can do at school. If they love dinosaurs, find dinosaur books in the school library.

4. Build Their Social and Emotional Toolkit

Sometimes, children need direct coaching on how to handle the social and emotional demands of school.

• Role-Play Scenarios: Practice how to ask to join a game, what to do if someone is unkind, or how to ask a teacher for help.

• Identify a “Go-To” Person: Help your child identify one or two adults at school (a teacher, counselor, or coach) they feel comfortable talking to if they’re upset.

• Schedule Playdates: Facilitate connections outside of school to help strengthen friendships.

5. Know When to Seek Professional Support

If your best efforts aren’t leading to a change, it may be time to call in reinforcements. Persistent school refusal, significant anxiety, or a notable drop in grades are signs that your child could benefit from professional support.

How BACT Can Help:
Our therapists are skilled in:

• Play and Talk Therapy: Providing a safe space for children to express their fears and frustrations.

• Anxiety Management: Teaching children and parents practical techniques to manage school-related anxiety.

• Social Skills Groups: Helping children build confidence and practice friendship skills in a supportive setting.

• Parent Coaching: Equipping you with tailored strategies to support your child’s specific needs.

Helping your child love school is about rebuilding their confidence and their sense of safety and belonging. With patience, empathy, and the right support, you can help them turn the school page to a new, brighter chapter.

If you’re looking for more personalized guidance, contact BACT today to schedule a consultation. Let’s work together to make school a place of joy and growth for your child.